Tuesday hugs to you all Beloveds.
Sunday 26th March was Mothering Sunday around Europe and some parts of the world and it brought to remembrance the joys and sacrifices that birth-mothers, step-mothers, foster-mothers do for their children. Mothering Sunday is a day dedicated to celebrating motherhood and making her feel extraordinarily special.
But permit me to ask a question!
- Is making her feel special on Mothering Sunday what we’re supposed to do?
- Do you think focusing our energy on this extraordinary person called a ‘MOTHER’ once a year is enough?
It’s like Valentine’s Day which is held yearly on the 14th of February to signify the celebration of LOVE but I beg to differ as LOVE should be celebrated daily. That got me really thinking about what motherhood is (along with the significance of Mothering Sunday) and the only conclusion I can come up with is the word ‘sacrifice’; and the underlining factor that comes along with that ‘word’. The mother-child relationship can be one of the most complicated and yet most rewarding of all relationships. As any parent will tell you, the practice of raising a child can be extremely difficult, and mothers definitely deserve the thanks and praise. And while it certainly isn’t enough to appreciate her just one day out of the year, Mother’s Day is a good start.
So what is a “good mother”? One who would sacrifice all for her children. One who offers love that is endless, silent, undemanding, One who would deny her own maternal identity rather than see her offspring rent in two. A good mother is her children; she does not have a story of her own. She is the channel through which others learn to speak.
The meaning of being a mother is virtually endless. A mother is a protector, disciplinarian and friend. A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. A mother works hard to make sure their child is equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to make it as a competent human being. Being a mother is perhaps the hardest, most rewarding job a woman will ever experience but it comes with the most quantifying thing called LOVE.
As Toni Morrison’s Beloved illustrates, maternal love defies restrictions based on the intersection of race and gender, and exists beyond patriarchal rules of ownership.
Being a mother 8 years ago changed my life completely. I found out that this little creature called David was brought into my life to teach me how to love unconditionally but also to test my ‘patience’ (which I was struggling with, even though my African name ‘Ndidiamaka’ denotes ‘patience is a virtue’) amongst things.
I had become much more than a bottle washer or bottom wiper. I discovered that I found myself wearing a dizzying array of hats: master chef, schedule organizer, cheerleader, comforter, mentor and detective. I found myself forever showering David with hugs and kisses, listening to him as he recounts his day, either at school or otherwise, play games or slip a note in his lunch box letting him know how much I love him.
As mothers (be it birth-mothers, step-mothers and foster mothers), I discovered that we daily change the course of the future through our encouragement and admonishments, through these life-giving moments when we pour into our children. We get to shape their character and teach them about the God who made them and loves them. We teach them about honesty and the power of commitment. We teach them how to share and how to love. We form the face of tomorrow through our mummy-life today. Each moment counts, and for a mother, there aren’t any throwaway days.
In turn, David has shown me what unconditional love is all about. He’s exactly the type of child I had prayed for all my life and nothing brings me even more joy than seeing the gifts God has placed in him slowly manifesting – the worshipper, the carer, the karate expert, the footballer, the mathematician, the cook, the traveller, the story-teller, the PS4 player, the YouTuber amongst others. So it makes the ‘sacrifice’ all worthwhile.
With every hug, every gentle pat, every encouraging word, we are making a difference that no one else can. Without fanfare or thanks, we are shaping the minds and hearts of future leaders, inventors, dreamers and decision-makers. We truly are world changers.
So even if for one day, we are appreciated for all the work we do; then I proudly receive it on behalf of all the MOTHERS in the world. Yes the work never ceases but being treated with love by all makes it all WORTHWHILE.
So here’s to celebrating the special women in my life: Mummy dearest, Sister-in-love (Sarah), Big Sisters Josephine & Ngozi, Pastor Sola Irukwu (Spiritual Mother/Big Sister), Church Grandma Falaye and to my fellows Mothers (birth-mothers, step-mothers, foster mothers and also mothers-in-waiting): Happy Mothering Day Beloveds.
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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady ©