We send YOU ALL our Love & Appreciation this Thanksgiving Day.

Have a good one filled with loads of gratitude and love.

Be Thankful for a New Day
Be Thankful for Loved Ones
Be Thankful for Good Health
Be Thankful for Expanding Wealth
Be Thankful for Opportunities around You

I am THANKFUL for all that has been mentioned above but most of all, I THANKFUL for His Grace on all I have been through and the Renaissance Journey I am on right now.

Always having the spirit of Gratitude ‘cause My TANK is FULL of THANKS

What are You Thankful for this Season?

Happy Thanksgiving Beloveds ❤️

The Renaissance Journey continues …

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Yours in love - The Renaissance Lady ©

So I attended the Royal Wedding at Windsor between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (now the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) and I was emotionally blown away. Well, I watched it from my front room but I had a close interaction with every activity that occurred at the event and it was awesome to see some friends who participated in it from The Kingdom Singers (whoop whoop).

From the mixture of Hollywood and Sports Stars to Politicians to Charity Personalities to Royalty; it was what I termed the New Mix for a Royal Family Wedding.

From the amazing composure of the emotional mother of the bride (Doria Ragland) watching her only child re-write history to marry her prince; to the emotional face of the groom, Prince Harry as his bride-to-be walked down the aisle. It was a day of tissues and joy for everyone worldwide that Dreams do come True as long as there’s Love; Genuine Love! The young couple ensured that their wedding was done ‘their way’ still the following Royal Protocol but it needed to be their signature wedding which signifies their LOVE.

The late, Diana (Princess of Wales) would have been so proud as she was the epitome of Grace and Love within the Royal Family, which is now reflective through both her Daughters-in-law (Kate and now Meghan).

I particularly loved how they both incorporated Black Culture in the celebration of their love (after all, Meghan is bi-racial). From the Black Gospel Choir: The Kingdom Choir to the Black Cellist: Sheku Kanneh-Mason to the Black Preacher who was one of my highlight of the whole day. 

The world especially the Royal Family was treated to Black Church by Most Reverend Michael Curry and the truth in sermon preaching. He spoke about LOVE (which aligned with the theme and feel of the day) and spoke about how Love is not selfish and self-centered. 

He touched on the Power of Love which was one of Martin Luther King Jnr famous teachings and how we should discover the redemptive Power of Love: that Love can be sacrificial, and in so doing, become very redemptive – and in that way of unselfish, sacrificial, redemptive love, changes lives and thus can change the world. How the love of God binds us all as One and through that Love comes Peace and Unity in the world. The final thought was that the wedding and marriage signify the kind of LOVE that sees no colour and that’s what brought the whole world to witness the union of these 2 individuals: Harry and Meghan. 

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The end point is that no matter what: Love Wins. There is Power in Love which should never be underestimated or over-estimated. And I want that to be the base of everything we do going forward.

Everyone could see and feel the LOVE between the 2 and it goes to show that despite all the odds; LOVE can and will always WIN.  

Ladies & Gentlemen, I present to you all: the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. 

What was your favourite moment of The Royal Wedding?

There is PowerInLOVE ❤️ 

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady ©

Back in my archives, I found a blogpost I had drafted about an article which made it rounds back in 2012 and caused such a buzz about the explicit truth behind it so being the curious and caring person that I am, I have decided to share, hoping that there will be nuggets derived from the lips of an elderly and wise woman.

DISCLAIMER: You might find the article a bit raw (or rather explicit).

I am not one for controversy but have to say that I am somewhat impressed about the candid letter from Grandma Carmela. The question to ask is when and how do we cross the boundaries where such discussions (in that depth) should be held within the household. And if not, who is best to have such candid conversations?

I come from a culture where it is deemed such a taboo to mention such a word as ‘sex’ until one is married. It has been somewhat modernised over the years (thanks to the millennials making a stand for the change in times) but this is managed with wisdom. The curse of the ‘black sheep’ is not something we desire to be tagged with.

READ ON: A Nerve reader’s 84-year old grandmother preps her on sexual positions, STDs, and the importance of foreplay.

(NOTE: Not for the faint-hearted)

I am Alison Denisco and when I was twenty years old, dating my first serious boyfriend, my grandma Carmela asked my mother point-blank if I was still a virgin. She didn’t get an answer, but I came home on my next college break to find the now-infamous Grandma Sex Letter patiently awaiting my arrival, the grandmotherly cursive writing on the back of a newsletter from her senior housing facility belying its scandalous nature.

What follows is explicit yet touching advice on sex and love from my eighty-six-year-old grandma.

My beloved Alison,

Now that you have become a complete woman, I want to give you my thoughts and hints on sex and love and a few lessons about people, from your grandmother who has been there to you who are just beginning.

  1. To know if you are both in love, you feel a “connection” in bed. If you feel ALONE in bed when having sex, you are with the WRONG man. This is CRITICAL! The connection of mind, body, soul!
  1. There is real love that everyone wants but it does not happen to everyone — it is called “soul-mates,” spiritual, supernatural. This is the highest form of love — it is a religious feeling. You have found God. You know instantly, “love at first sight.” You know he was meant for you and he is your real husband, and he knows you are his wife-to-be.
  1. When having sex and the female does not enjoy it, I strongly recommend that the female gets on top of the man. It always works; the female has a climax and enjoyment. If he wants to perform oral sex on you, enjoy it!
  1. Always make sure the man’s penis is CLEAN. Make sure he washes it with soap and water before coming to bed.
  1. Many men are PIGS. They want sex every day! You are not obligated to say “yes” to please him if you do not feel up to it. You never do anything unless you want to. To pacify the pig, give him manual stimulation!
  1. Never, never do ANAL sex! You can get diseases, especially if after anal, he goes vaginal. Also, ORAL sex is dangerous if there are cuts in your mouth or sores. Men love it. Don’t swallow his SEMEN! You can get throat STDs. There is no cure for herpes. Chlamydia and gonorrhea have no symptoms and can leave you sterile. You both would need antibiotics!
  1. Some men are pre-mature ejaculators; that is very frustrating and bad for the female. He needs help to learn to control himself until the female is ready.
  1. There should be foreplay to get the girl ready. As you get older, more experienced, you can skip all that and it is over in 7 minutes.
  1. Perhaps you already know all these hints. I hope you find it helpful; I love you and do not want you to make a mistake. Never marry someone and say “Well, I can always get a divorce if I’m not happy.” When there are children, you are never divorced. The ex-husband will be in your life forever, so make sure you marry the right guy.
  1. Make sure you never marry an abusive control freak. When a man loves you, there is respect. He will be proud of you and your achievements — not jealous and needing to know your every move, or keeping you away from family and friends. Make sure he comes from a happy family with a loving mother and father who have a good marriage.
  1. Never, never tell a boyfriend if you have any savings, inheritance-to-be or your salary when you graduate. Some men look for a woman with money. I do not respect such men! If he has credit card debt, DUMP him immediately! You only discuss finances with the man you want to marry.
  1. Should you date a man who is stingy, dollar conscious, and you love to spend money, the relationship will never work unless you are a thrifty person yourself, then you can put up with him.
  1. When dating a new man, do not feel obligated to have sex with him because he bought you dinner. To avoid this, pay for your own dinner. You are getting to know each other. You are not a homeless person who needs a meal.
  1. Be happy, be with someone whose company you enjoy and you can’t live without, and respect him. Watch out for womanisers, drunks!
  1. You can make sure you know a man well by dating him on weekends and vacations. If he’s unsure about committing, DUMP him. No excuses.
  1. Hope you find the happiness you deserve. There should be love, respect, admiration, trust, and a mental and physical connection. If you find “true love,” you will live happily ever after. That is true.

Love,
Grandma Carmela

________________________________________________________

I have to be really honest in saying that I cringed when I read the article as it was very explicit (even to my taste). But saying that, I sometimes wish that we (my generation of the 70’s of African heritage) could have such open and real discussions with our parents or older family members we were younger, then some of the mistakes made would have been avoided as I would have applied the wisdom of the elderly women with experiences. So I am all for Granma Carmela (but maybe not that explicit though).

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady © 

Happy Valentine’s Day Beloveds.

Yes, we all know that it is a day set aside for LOVE (as it is put) or IS IT?

It is a day where LOVE is recognised worldwide. And while it is great that there is a day set aside to celebrate LOVE, I believe that this celebration should be a daily dose for all. Sure, it is easier said than done to advise that we express and celebrate our love daily but why not?

Even in the harsh realities of life, where it is sometimes hard to remember to express love towards one another, I dare YOU ALL to take just an HOUR to express LOVE towards your Loved One or even a Stranger.

And for couples, take time out to do something for each other that shows your love in a way that your partner will recognise it as LOVE.  Simple things like a peck on the forehead or an unexpected hug or a text during lunch time or helping out with the kids or surprise dinner goes a long way to make them feel appreciated and loved.

Why not try this simple Valentine’s Day writing assignment and see what responses have been written down by you and your partner/spouse. Be sincere and open to receive truth in LOVE.

I definitely cannot prescribe what LOVE will look for you but my encouraging words will be to ‘express or show love towards each other daily’

Enjoy your DAY!

Share your thoughts about Valentine’s Day in the comments below.

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady © 

There’s gonna to be a Royal Wedding Beloveds ❤️. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are finally getting their fairytale ending!

Prince Harry got engaged to his sweetheart, the American Actress, Meghan Marke but we knew it was going to happen eventually. The prince, 33, engagement to the Suits star, 36, Clarence House was announced Monday. The pair who have been dating since July 2016 were first revealed as a couple in October 2016.  According to Clarence House in a statement: “His Royal Highness and Ms. Markle became engaged in London earlier this month.”

“Prince Harry had already informed Her Majesty The Queen and other close members of his family. And he also sought and received the blessing of Ms. Markle’s parents.

According to Clarence House, the wedding will take place in Spring 2018. It will be the biggest royal wedding since his brother Prince William walked down the aisle with Kate Middleton in 2011.

This is history as it will be the first time a direct heir to the throne has been set to wed an American since King Edward VIII abdicated to marry Wallis Simpson in 1937. (Harry is fifth in line, behind his father, Prince Charles, William and Kate’s children, Prince George and Princess Charlotte.)

In a statement, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip said they were “delighted for the couple and wish them every happiness.” Ms. Markle’s parents — Thomas Markle and Doria Ragland — said they were “incredibly happy” about the engagement.

The couple made their first public appearance since making their announcement in a photo call outside Kensington Palace. During the event, she proudly flashed her sparkly ring and smiled for the cameras.

The stunning ring was designed by Prince Harry himself and includes one stone from Botswana, where the pair recently went on holiday, and two diamonds from Diana’s collection.

The couple will live in Nottingham Cottage at Kensington Palace after the wedding.

Excitement is an understatement right now in the UK. We are so elated with the news and can’t wait for Spring 2018 to celebrate with the two of them at the Royal Wedding of the Year.

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Love is in the air ❤️❤️❤️. •

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady ©

Happy Thanksgiving Beloveds ❤️.

Every day should be a thanksgiving day but Today is specially set apart for families and loved ones to gather together and rejoice in the goodness of Life and all that Juice ?.

Using the attached page to write down ‘what YOU are THANKFUL for:

I am THANKFUL for Life
I am THANKFUL for my Son
I am THANKFUL for my Family
I am THANKFUL for my Friends
I am THANKFUL for my Failures
I am THANKFUL for my Successes 
I am THANKFUL for my Past
I am THANKFUL for my Present
I am THANKFUL for my Future
I am THANKFUL for Love
I am THANKFUL for NEW opportunities around me
But most of all, I am THANKFUL for His Grace on all I have been through and the Renaissance Journey I am on right now

Always having the spirit of Gratitude ‘cause My TANK is FULL of THANKS ??????

I refer back to a previous blog post on Thanksgiving titled: ‘Happy Thanksgiving with a Grateful Heart Always’  and what it means to me.

So what are YOU Thankful For? 

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady ©

So I had a post on my blog Instagram about a conversation with a friend of mine on the meaning or significance of ‘Inconvenient Love’. Hmmm, that’s a topic everyone should discuss! ???

According to a blogger, Mitch Teemley: “Love is inconvenient. Before it can be a noun, it must be a verb. If you don’t love when it’s inconvenient, you don’t love at all.”

The bible states that: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”       ~1 Corinthians 13:4-13 (NKJV)

Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect him/her to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect them to calm you down when you’re yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing. Love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can’t comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain because simply, they can’t see. They can’t see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you’re in love. It’s inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can’t live without it. What you don’t learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn’t worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.

Love isn’t her calming you down when you yell. It’s her yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn’t her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.

It’s after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It’s not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it’s not her caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It’s her standing there, admitting she’s just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you’re not the only one involved. You’ve unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another person’s hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it.

It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn’t cross. Because love isn’t about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It’s about scaring the **** out of every nerve in our body but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it’s a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling ‘happy’ and feeling whole.

My ending statement is this: Inconvenient Love signifies that ‘backroom, behind the scene’ type of love. It’s that LOVE that’s worth fighting for, the Love that makes YOU grow up when YOU want to give up and makes YOU stand when all goes down. That right there is LOVE ❤️❤️❤️

What is your stance on ‘Inconvenient Love’ – let’s discuss…

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady ©

Happy Monday Beloveds ❤.

Had an interesting conversation with some sista-friends recently on relationships and life and we touched on the word ‘LOVE’ which brought on loads of emotional outbursts and concepts. The only thing that stood out was when it was stated that LOVE is an Action Word and not just an emotion which has always been how I view it.

What’s your concept of LOVE?

Is it just an Emotion or is it an Action Word for you?

Let’s Discuss!

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady © 

In light of all the mayhem happening worldwide in terms of disasters, hate and violence, especially the terrifying recent Las Vegas shootings, I am yet again reminded of the now famous tweet by Barack Obama shared on the 13th of August 2017: “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin or his background or his religion…” pic.twitter.com/InZ58zkoAm  – Barack Obama (@BarackObama) August 13, 2017.

The former US president followed the tweet with more from Mandela’s autobiographical Long Walk to Freedom: “People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love. “…For love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” – Nelson Mandela  Barack Obama (@BarackObama) August 13, 2017

The shootings, killings, hate, racial segregation, discrimination, anti-Semitism, gender equality, genocide, acts of crime and violence all needs to STOP!  And it starts when WE collectively SPEAK OUT and make a STAND!

If we all Learn and Experience what it feels to totally and completely love People without judgement, we will surely learn and experience what it means to be FREE!

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady © 

Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in Las Vegas.

This is truly heartbreaking ???.

Love Reigns Beloveds, Love Reigns….

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady ©

Happy Monday Beloveds. So I finally made time to watch ‘Black Love’ which was a 4-part documentary series that premiered on @owntv and has just been renewed for a second season (yipeee ??????).

This docuseries focused on celebration of ‘Black Love’ (I will say LOVE in general cause anyone of any race in a relationship or marriage can relate to it and learn a thing or two). Black Love highlighted love stories from the black community seeking to answer the burning questions: What is the secret to making a marriage work? What is the biggest threat to Black Relationships? Falling down and Tripping over hurdles in relationships? The difficulties of being in an inter-racial relationship? How to deal with infidelity and trust in relationships?

Husband-and-wife filmmakers Codie and Tommy Oliver presented real, honest, emotional and sometimes cringe-worthy love stories from some of the most successful people in business and entertainment as well as everyday couples. It featured couples which included Oscar® winner Viola Davis and Julius Tennon, Hollywood power couple Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin, NAACP Image Award® winner Tia Mowry-Hardrict and actor Cory Hardrict, NAACP Image Award nominee Flex Alexander and Grammy®-nominated recording artist Shanice, gospel singer Erica Campbell and music producer Warryn Campbell, NAACP Image Award nominee Vanessa Bell Calloway and Dr. Anthony Calloway, and many more—each offering a unique take on love. It focused on the couples expressing how they discovered and appreciate this thing called ‘LOVE’ plus also shared Lessons Learned, Sacrifices Made and Lessons still being Learned along this journey of Love and Life.

My thoughts: I wanted to see snippets of laughter, pain and brutal honesty which we don’t generally get to hear from married couples and this was definitely reflected amongst the couples. In the midst of it all there were some real gems could be use for our own romantic relationships, regardless of the stage we’re currently in.  I liked how Viola Davis and her husband – Julius Tennon opened up about the realities of marriage and the hard work and commitment it takes to make it work: “more people would be terrified if they knew what marriage was really about.”

And even though the documentary focused on married couples, I decided that as a single woman, I too have chosen to celebrate ‘Love’: it’s the love I was raised on; the love that I have experienced and received from precious ones; the love I also previously experienced from treasured relationships and am absolutely looking forward to the New & Amazing type of LOVE that I will experience with The One! ❤️.

I am sucker for TRUE LOVE and believe it is out there for all those who desire it but it has to be a Mature Godly kind of LOVE for me, where we are both willing to learn and grow (that’s enough of my thoughts for now). This docuseries definitely reaffirmed my belief that there is a Time and Season and my Season is NOW ❤️!

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#BlackLove #LifeChanger #PurposeDriven #BeInspired #WomenofFaith #Love #Expectant #Oprah #LoveStories #Mumpreneur #Motivation #MyLifeMyStories #LifeLessons #Love #DeepThinking #Faith #Empowerment #DailyEncouragement #InstaPost #BlackLove #InstaPhotos #PositiveThinking #Influencer #IntentionalLiving #LifestyleBlogger #ContentCreator #BloggerLife #NewYorkBlogger #LondonBlogger #MelaninPoppin #SavvyBlogging #therenaissancelady

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Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady ©

 

Later on, this morning, being the 23rd of June 2017, we lay to rest an enigma in our lives – the legend called Richard Quist aka the UK’s own USHER or Q or DANCING LEG amongst the several other nicknames he has attached to his persona.

Our friendship dates back to the early 90s and Richard was that friend who will call in the late nights or early morning just to check up and then tease me about the old times.  Awwww, the waves of laughter, the gossips, the business chats, the travel stories, the dreams, the pains and hopes …

The last FaceTime we had was when he was in Ghana before his birthday 21st April and we talked about crap as usual then onto life talks of which we laughed about the usual Ghana and Nigeria jokes including the ever-popular competition of the infamous jollof rice: Q, you were supposed to dine with me at 805 restaurant which never happened but I promise you that I will  go and eat that jollof rice in your honour with a glass of Hennessey as you did in that photo you sent us all on your birthday whilst in Ghana.

It’s hard to really define Richard and what he was to each individual who made contact with him thus to claim him as a friend, associate, a close friend or even best friend would be difficult to quantify as he made each and everyone feel like he was their best friend and vice versa. He was that brother, confidante, leaning shoulder, club partner, fashion adviser, babysitter, gist-partner, drinking partner, travel companion, comforter, listener, encourager, motivator, ideal sharer and the list goes on… It was hard to be angry with Richard or for him to be angry or bear a grudge with someone; you just couldn’t as that smile just melted you and the bear hug will take over and eradicate any previous tension held.

Richard was the sort of person who was like a magnet to people especially the ladies. I sometimes used to wonder what was his charm – whether it was his smile or dance or soft voice or selfless nature or eccentric fashion or that hair. Hence the name – smooth charmer became one of his nicknames. Each lady he met melted under his charm and that was his selling point, but at the same time, he was our voice of reason when it came to relationship talks packed with wisdom, encouragement and motivation.

Richard was the one that always got us into a party whenever we gate-crashed and got kicked out.  His smooth talk always saved the day or should I say ‘night-crawls’ that we undertook back in the early 90s and we sure left an impression afterwards that we always got invited back to the next party being held – all thanks to the Q-Man. Those days, we used to party  6-days a week then back to school or work and back for the hook-up again that evening. And I must say, we excelled in our studies and work but the friendships formed cannot and will never be broken. There was the clubs or venues of which exclusive membership was given without being asked for just because we were Richie’s friends:

Corks Wine Bar – Handover Grand – Ten Rooms – Subterrania – Southport – Ion Bar – Villa Stefano – Festac Bar – Bootleggers – Gulliver’s – Moonlighting – Hippodrome – Hammersmith Palais – Oasis / Woody’s – And much more to mention… 

You were the soul and life of the Notting Hill Carnival with your special concoction drink which was lethal to others but you had that drink like a pro on which people often wondered what you had in it.

Richard has the warmest and tightest hugs which was called the bear hug. Even if he just met you for the first time, he always gave a hug which was his way of bonding with the person. He was never too tired to pick up the phone to check up on those he loved and always had a way to uplift one’s spirit and make them smile. He was always positive even when things were not going well with him. He always saw the good in people and was the eternal optimist always going the extra mile for people. He was a protector for those who were his friends aka sistas and you dare not mess with them when Richard and the boys were around.

What comes to mind about Richard especially during conversations was his favourite words or slang:

  • ‘Everything will work out’
  • ‘Everything was ‘sexy’ to him’
  • ‘Yeah right’
  • ‘You can do it’
  • ‘This wouldn’t happen in Ghana’
  • ‘Yeah Man – That’s my Boy, didn’t you know’
  • ‘It’s not your fault’ – his favourite phrase…

The one thing which made Richard grow up was his kids – he loved Naima and Bailey with all his being and was so proud of them. Every time, we all met up – he was always on the lookout for what the kids will like and ensured that whenever he travelled especially to Ghana – he brought back African clothing for them and other artefacts. They were his pride and joy and reason for wanting to leave an amazing cultural legacy for them which he has and will continue for ages to come.

To summarise Richie: a true friend will always be there; always there in the good times and times of need. Richie – thanks for being that quiet voice and shoulder, was always there when I needed you and even when I didn’t. That day that you left will forever linger in my mind but I am honoured and proud to have known you and you will forever be in my heart. Love you Q, my Usher, My Friend …

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So to our soldier, Richard A Quist aka Q: We Salute You, Bro!!!


Yours in love – The Renaissance Lady ©